Harry Gandalf

I think this story was very good. And I know this sounds corny, but try to spice it up a bit! (It can get a bit snoozy at some points) ...

Quote: She slips away into the night, towards somewhere in between nowhere and anywhere at all: even the moon beckons and holds promise for an unparalleled journey beyond these binding ...

There's the adjective gilded instead of golden. : was the Golden Tree, a magnificent apple (I think you need to add "tree" here?) I think not as it would be ...

That's pretty nice man i liked most of the story. But i never understood the aim of the angel in the scene. Remember to make each scene have a purpose. ...

Oh man well done that's really great. First of all i can't get some verses. who's that boy??. Why is he alone?. But i also like the way you play ...